Calm

"Walked a few hours to sit outside your apartment window and I don't know if I should call you" - Isabella Sosa from Vine

This almost precisely describes the kind of feeling I have back when we were only a few blocks apart and now that I'm miles away from you.

Sitting at the bench in front of your dorm house, thinking about you excruciatingly inside my room. It's never easy to come to you, I give up a lot of myself in the process. But I would do it for you, I would do almost everything for you. 

Almost...

Because one thing I couldn't do, no matter how much I try to convince myself, no matter how many times that try takes, is to let go of you. Is to leave you.

Maybe this is an unhealthy attachment. Maybe I'm just a stupid person.

Maybe...

And you are far away now. It's a lot more confusing but at times it brings bliss. I realize the importance of valuing our own lives before valuing each others'. At this stage, I am more accepting, less aggressive. 

But if our minds would fuse its way to the material world...

I am still sitting outside,

Thinking to call you and telling myself not to,

And I would most of the time, do it anyway.