Why I want to pretend we aren't friends anymore

Wanna know the reason why I am silent with a few of my very close friends right now?
I'll put Ammar Rizal as a prime example.

Okay, I don't know whether this dude will read this or not.
But frankly I DON'T CARE.

Do you want to know why I really don't feel like bothering with you anymore?
It's because of that face you pull at me almost EVERY TIME we meet
you know, that pathetic sulking face which makes me think like I'm being some annoying mother/sister who wont stop bugging you.
And thing is, I'd understand it if you see me almost every minute of your life...BUT YOU DON'T. We rarely see each other and you make it still!
I hate it when you look at me like that!
Because the fact is, whenever some other friend of yours turn up
Your expression TOTALLY changed. You'd be laughing, joking around.
Of course I'll be laughing with you. But you should know by now that I am HURT

So it leaves me with this: "Oh why does he look so happy with other people? what's wrong with me? Am I not exciting to see? Not funny? fun? Am I totally boring to you?"


So I give you the silent treatment to show my contempt. I admit, it didn't work and a lot of misunderstandings had happened.

I stormed off at burger truck
You didn't come after me
I STORMED OFF BECAUSE OF YOU DAMMIT!

And I'm sure no matter what, I still wont forget the friendship we used to have.
That's why I'm still holding on to you, I still love you.

But you really make me want to leave INTI so that I wont see your face again.

For the other friends, I haven't given silent treatments the same way I did to Ammar though.

But if I find what they say or do, and maybe they wont notice I read or heard it, irritates me in the same way.
I'll probably do the same thing.

And do you know the best thing about these people?
THEY DON'T CARE AND I DO.
They'll probably be like "Wtf is with this girl? okay I'm just going to not talk to her and see if she turns out okay later on. For now, I'll just hang out with my other buddies and have the time of my life"

I admit, that's great strategy. You're such a good friend.

I wish I never met you people. I wish I never cared.
I wish I never had friends.