The Potato Syndrome

If there was one thing I would like to change about myself is the habit of constantly being indifferent to something I previously took interest in. And it kills me when those interests are of undeniable importance for my aspirations.

Really, when was the last time I find something I take in genuine liking and stick to it to take that interest even further?
Sure, back then the SAT seemed desirable because at the time SPM was around and boyyy do I find a mighty disinterest to that Secondary-school "only" proof for academic evaluation. But now? just by looking at the book is nauseating. I'm not sure if whether it's from pure laziness in which I am succumbed to the hedonistic lifestyle, or maybe I really just don't CARE anymore because I don't have anything more important for it to become my stimulus of distraction.

Reading is another dilemma. I used to be immersed in a lot of reading materials back then, especially in fictions and Encyclopedias. The time it would take for me to finish a book would usually be at least in one day if that book had 300 pages. But now, only Lord knows the many times I constantly doze off after reading one measly chapter. I don't know what happened! It's like my sense of being istiqamah to a really good habit had been disrupted. Where had my sense of escapism gone to?

My enthusiasm for ANYTHING had been obliterated these past few months. Ya Allah, what have I done to be trapped in this bleak soul? I can't even write well anymore because of this condition. How I yearn to have all of those back....

I feel of no more use than a potato :'(

 A very sad potato as well.