To the one I love

A good friend once presented a quote that marked its way into my soul.

---

Avatar Roku: Love is hard when you're young.
Aang: You don't have to tell me.
Avatar Roku: Don't worry, it gets better.

Why I want to pretend we aren't friends anymore

Wanna know the reason why I am silent with a few of my very close friends right now?
I'll put Ammar Rizal as a prime example.

Okay, I don't know whether this dude will read this or not.
But frankly I DON'T CARE.

Do you want to know why I really don't feel like bothering with you anymore?
It's because of that face you pull at me almost EVERY TIME we meet
you know, that pathetic sulking face which makes me think like I'm being some annoying mother/sister who wont stop bugging you.
And thing is, I'd understand it if you see me almost every minute of your life...BUT YOU DON'T. We rarely see each other and you make it still!
I hate it when you look at me like that!
Because the fact is, whenever some other friend of yours turn up
Your expression TOTALLY changed. You'd be laughing, joking around.
Of course I'll be laughing with you. But you should know by now that I am HURT

So it leaves me with this: "Oh why does he look so happy with other people? what's wrong with me? Am I not exciting to see? Not funny? fun? Am I totally boring to you?"


So I give you the silent treatment to show my contempt. I admit, it didn't work and a lot of misunderstandings had happened.

I stormed off at burger truck
You didn't come after me
I STORMED OFF BECAUSE OF YOU DAMMIT!

And I'm sure no matter what, I still wont forget the friendship we used to have.
That's why I'm still holding on to you, I still love you.

But you really make me want to leave INTI so that I wont see your face again.

For the other friends, I haven't given silent treatments the same way I did to Ammar though.

But if I find what they say or do, and maybe they wont notice I read or heard it, irritates me in the same way.
I'll probably do the same thing.

And do you know the best thing about these people?
THEY DON'T CARE AND I DO.
They'll probably be like "Wtf is with this girl? okay I'm just going to not talk to her and see if she turns out okay later on. For now, I'll just hang out with my other buddies and have the time of my life"

I admit, that's great strategy. You're such a good friend.

I wish I never met you people. I wish I never cared.
I wish I never had friends.

I slept at the wrong side of the bed today

It wont be said in return
You would fear it
To come off as burn

I have no such fear
As the end comes near
I would say it more when it does
A longing for things to remain as it was

And I would say it any way
Hurt would be the price to pay

Insanity at ease
The bliss of release

I say it now and forever it will remain
I love you.

I wish....

I wish awesome music would turn up to me without myself giving that much effort to find it.
I'm almost bored with all of my songz... ;_;

PLEASE! ANYONE! SUGGEST ME GREAT SONGS!!!
*sucks thumb and rolls up like a baby*

Opal

Peacefully coexisting
Colors of earth's charm
Scattered in sweetness
Like the scattering of stars

Solid and hardened
Unfading
Which pertains to steadfastness

A humbled beauty
For the humbled ones in October
With every inch of love to give
And ascertained to stand
In midst of falling

Why

Why am I such a screw up.

We're all a bit tipsy and insane sometimes.

I think I'm growing even more insane as days go by. I've never been more anxious with the choices and decisions I'm frequently making. But okay it's not about me I want to talk about right now.

The spotlight goes to this special girl who had turned 19 years old yesterday!

CHUA!

So I wish to dedicate this whole post to her awesomeness on gaining a +1 of her awesome years living in this dunya :)

WHAT'S SO AWESOME ABOUT CHUA?

1. Her innocence and child-like attribute
2. Her awesome talents in craft and dessert making!
3. The absolute fun she brings to everyone
4. Her spirit and drive in doing things that makes her happy and in turn makes other people happy as well :)
5. Her "I don't give a sh*t" attitude (hohoho)
6. Someone I could call "Miss.Congeniality" :D
7. CREATIVITY
8. Her love for her friends
9. Her love for animals!
10. Being the most unique extroverted penguin I've ever met >w<


And of course in hopes of cliche-ing posts like this, I shall present the name definition!

NAJWA
definition: (arabic) Passionate, Secret, Whisper.


O_O
awesome name.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUA!!!!(sorry I didn't wish you yesterday ._.)

:Q___

Roasted Milk Tea

I'll marry just anyone who can make these for me for a life time.

Blog: My only chance...

...to be completely honest with my opinions and expose my immaturity level to 9999999!

So first thing is first:

It's official, I have a crush on this man:

Second, I really don't know what to think about this care I have for friends (I know my family loves me very much as I do to them). Maybe it is too much at times. Too much for my own good. And I guess my nature does not fit in the society I am situated in right now. So okay, I'll try my best to not care much about people who I think might mess me up (especially those close to me) and alienate me when they figure out the raw-ness of my personality. I guess I wont find anyone who will stick by me when I am my true self in all forms (emotional, happy, angry, depressed, crazy). But there is still time to test and judge, who knows if there would be a few or one person(s) bold enough to withstand that fact. True blue friends.

Let's see then. 

I wish the best for you,
wish the best for me,

Wish for infinity,
But if that ain't me

Then give it up

Random searches.

Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. (wikipedia)

What you need to know

Some people just have self-esteem issues. There are times where it becomes more apparent and at times it stays hidden. Hidden due to forgetfulness(joy). Apparent when they want you to know because they do need your help to make sense of themselves. Sometimes it ties with self-reflection. But what matters is, I'm still learning. Bear with me, if you may. I've been hurt in so many ways.

I'm sorry if I can't learn any faster. And I hope the way you're treating me right now does something good in the outcome.

This is just me.

There is so much I could express
You shine in so many ways
Some I can't quite put out

You claim to have a rough exterior
You've been through so much loss
So much were deprived
I can see sadness at times when you lay quiet
More of it, when you open that cringing hurt
Sealed in your heart

Part of me feels relatable
But at most, I feel distant
I would never have felt so much empathy

But you always shone out
True qualities in your skin,
Invincible to the sadness you endure
Truly, you are enchanting

You give so much
You give to people who do not deserve
The door you always open
No matter who knocks

I am struggling to know more of you
I am thankful to have you in my life
Never have I found someone more appreciative of my existence
The sheer smile you give
Enlightens me dearly

You give more than I would have hoped for
That leaves me wanting to give back
I would give you my love and prayers
Much more I wish to give you a part of me

All I have
I will give to you
In dark times
when no one wants to
I will give you
me

And we'll be
us